Sunday, February 14, 2016

I Love.

I love a good walk, a good book and a good coffee.

I love dry socks after a wet day.

I love blankets warmed by dogs.

I love moments of peaceful silence.

I love the gift that is our life, the promise of each new day, the wonder that is the simple act of breathing in and out.

I don't love the hard stuff.  I can't even pretend.  The hurt, the sorrow, the sadness.  The loss, the loneliness, the tears.

I do love how the hard stuff makes me appreciate the little things all the more.  Every hug I get from my Mom is dearer today than it was six months ago, when we didn't know then what we know today.

I love.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

It's Time To Leap

Boxes are being packed and clothes are sorted into the yes, no, maybe piles.  Last minute details are being thought of and added to a list that is becoming shorter and shorter as the days tick by.  This is it.  We are about to be empty nesters.

Of course there were days in the past 20 years, when babies screamed or frustrations mounted or exhaustion set in, that we looked to this day as a day of freedom.  We will have done it!  Raised two kids to adulthood!

Who knew those 20 years would feel like they went by in a second?  Yet, here we are, about to send our baby off to college.  We will come home to a quieter, emptier house.  I feel a little bit nervous, not just for our daughter off doing new college things, but for us, learning how to do this as two people, not just 'mom' and 'dad'.

We stand on the edge of new possibilities and know with one step, we will start writing the next chapter.  I don't want us to be timid with our steps.  This is going to be a grand adventure, with travel and fun and all around good times with lots of hand holding and secret language smiles.  Be brave! Be bold!  Be us!

So, buck up little cowboys, it's time to leap.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Coffee Confession

Confession: I'm not sure I'm wild about the taste of coffee.  

Gasps are heard round the world, I know, because I drink it. Faithfully. I order lattes and mochas and no milk, no sugar iced coffees and I brew a pot every morning and I heat up cups throughout the day and I am not fully started on my work morning without a cup of Joe.

But I'm not convinced I love the taste.

I will drink weak coffee and strong coffee, and gas station coffee that has sat for days. I will try any road side coffee stand, even in the middle of the Yukon where a family from Seattle must try the mocha to give an honest Seattle Coffee Lovers opinion (which we smiled and said great and drove a few miles down the road and dumped it out the window).  I will drink it hot and cold and even room temperature.  I will drink it straight up black with no frills, or with a drop of cream or with a swirl of French Vanilla.  I will drink it up and down and sideways, one straw, two straws, no straw.

Yet I keep coming around to the idea that I don't love the taste.

I would question myself and ask if I'm an addict, but I can go days without it. I  can go camping and not suffer the unbearable withdrawals....but I miss it.  I miss the ritual of measuring the grounds and hearing the coffee pot start to perk.  I miss the aroma and the feel of holding a warm mug in my hand.  I miss that first bit of morning, when the world is quiet and I'm giving myself another 15 minutes to sit and relax and drink my coffee.

I like the comfortable routine of starting my day off with a cup of hot beverage.  And since I positively hate tea, coffee is for me!

This post is inspired by prompt #1 at Mama's Losin' It!

Saturday, July 11, 2015

18 Years Ago Today

Here is where I get a little teary eyed and start looking for that elusive box of tissue.

Eighteen years ago today, right about now, I was starting day two of trying to have a baby.  Yesterday's induction didn't take and I was sick with preeclampsia and there wasn't much option for us at that point except to have a baby now.

I'd spent a restless night tossing and turning in the hospital bed, with my husband snoring next to me on the fold out chair, and I was so ready to be done.  Let's go, baby, I thought. Get a move on!

And now, it's been 18 years, in a blink of an eye.  That moment she was born, purple with the cord around her neck, to first days of preschool, middle school, high school, trips to Seaside, Washington DC, France, needing to be carried, needing to hold my hand, needing to snuggle in my bed, needing to borrow the car, needing to be grown, all has passed in an instant.

I'm standing here, looking at this amazing young woman, and I'm so proud of her.  She marches to her own drummer, always has, and I pray she always will!

Although, the tables have turned. I'm not the one saying "Let's go, get a move on!"  She is.  She is ready to cannonball into life!  I'll be at her side, with a towel and sunscreen, cheering her on.

Friday, July 3, 2015

Things I Want My Daughter To Know

I thought I'd close this chapter of our lives with a post of all the things I want my daughter to know before she takes that next leap into adulthood.  I started to make a list of, in my opinion, profound bits of wisdom, but one by one I crossed them off because the things I was writing, were things that she knows.

I've done my job then.  She knows all the things I wanted to impart.

Except, this one thing, that I know she will roll her eyes at and say "Mama," in that exasperated tone that only almost 18 year old girls can do, but this one thing is going to be true for the rest of her life. She might as well accept it.

She will always, always, always be my child, and I will never stop loving her or worrying about her or trying to help her in anyway I can.

That's what moms do.....we love our children.

To the Moon and Back, Leah.


Wednesday, July 1, 2015

One Giant Step Forward

It wasn't so very long ago that this lovely, grown-up person

Was this small

How time has flown by!
It feels like one day I turned around and it wasn't a little girl following in my footsteps,
It is a young woman quickly catching up to walk beside me.
I have been so lucky,
Blessed beyond measure,
To be her Mom.

Monday, June 1, 2015

Our Favorite Things

Another year, another Seaside trip; it doesn't get old.  The excitement of the road trip as we get closer and closer, until we are counting down the minutes until we are out of the car and thoughts of the beach, the sand, the snacks, the buckets, the shovels and kites fill our heads and hearts.  It was a good trip, fun, great weather, and I know I'm not the only one who wished it was just one day longer!

These are a few of our favorite things:

Renna: the water
Toran: the pool
Finn: the pool
Rory: too many to pick!
Micah: passing the swim test, digging a hole deep enough to hit water, the sweat shirt shop
Jack: the beach
Leah: the sweat shirt shop, the beach before the sunburn
Lisa: Norma's and watching Amy crawl up the stairs after one shot
Brandon: good beach time and game nights
Amy: the beach, sunshine, holes that didn't wash away
Michelle: sand under my feet and tasting Lisa' Goldschlager
Karen: Pitch Perfect 2
Randy: the swimming pool, swimming with Renna

Only 360 days until we go back.  Let the countdown begin!!