Sorry Birds, You've Been Evicted

So, awhile back, the kids and I came home to find a mess of twigs, dirt and moss in the carport. I immediately asked my son why he would make a mess like that, who was going to clean it up? He said it wasn't him, but I wasn't convinced. It seemed like the sort of thing boys might do.

The next morning my daughter was standing in the laundry room, looking into the carport and she asked if I thought a bird might have made that mess. I instantly thought, oh no, oh no, oh no! But instead I said yes, do you see a bird out there? Yep.

I venture out slowly, because here I will admit to a silly fear, I am scared of birds. I do not like their flapping wings, their beady eyes, their swooping and pooping. But I go out, because someone has to look up into the rafters of the carport to see if the mess on the floor is related to a building project.

Sure enough, a nest was being constructed. A bird flew out of the carport as I walked in, and I shuddered. I can't live with that! So I get out the rake and knock it down, then sweep up all the bird's mess. Whew. Done and done. No bird dive bombed my head, so that's a very good thing.

Go to work, come home at lunch, um, hello? Another nest being built? No way. I knock it down and sweep it up. We are bird free for weeks and I'm so grateful.

Then we get home from Seaside to find the bird has built a really big nest, in a really hard to knock down place in the carport. Between the kids and me, we manage to shake it loose and knock it down.

Unfortunately, the bird is not willing to give up. I wake up the next day to find a massive, solidly built, monster of a nest, in a spot that at first, I thought was impossible to get it down from. At that point, I thought, okay. Bird stays. My husband will be home in a week and I can turn it over to him.

Turns out, I'm not that kind of woman. I will get that nest down, somehow, someway. I struggle, with the rake, get dust in my eyes and some moss in my hair, but I finally get it down. It was not like the other nests before it, which came down in wisps. This landed with a hard plop. It was solid, well constructed, and heavy. It still held it's nest shape after it landed. I did not investigate, so I do not know why it was so heavy, maybe mud?

All I know is the bird finally gave up. I have officially evicted it from my carport. That being said, I'm sure I've jinxed myself and will wake up in the morning to find a birds nest made from the finest fur a welsh corgi can shed, since I've heard there are mounds and mounds of that stuff laying around somewhere.

Won't matter too much to me this time. My husband is home! He can deal with it. Thank God!!!