Self Checkout Leads To Divorce

I am a huge fan of the new self checkout lanes at our local grocery store.  Honestly, some days I just don't feel like chit-chatting and my vocabulary consists of a series of grunts.  Those days self checkout saves me from appearing like a crazed hermit come down from Mother Mountain.

My kids like self checkout.  My husband likes self checkout.  We are a family who loves to help ourselves.

That is, until my husband and I do self checkout together.

It is a sure cause of an argument in the store, and suddenly we are like that elderly couple bickering over if those apples were really galas or jonagolds.  The red light on our station starts flashing and the computer voice tells us we need the clerk to come help us.  And also, put our item back in the bag because it feels like we are trying to steal it.  My checks are burning, my husband is frustrated and I always end up abandoning him to crack silly jokes with the clerk on duty.

I pretend that I do not know that man.  He's just some no account drift I suppose.  Definitely not my husband.

After numerous mishaps with us as a couple at self checkout, we have decided for the sake of our marriage that self really does mean single, and we will join the line for the cashier.  It's really made for a much more peaceful shopping trip.

We're still like the elderly couple bickering over galas or jonagolds, but at least we don't have a red light flashing over us!