For The Love Of All That's Holy

As I bleary eyed stumbled into the bathroom at 4 this morning, trying to be quiet so the dogs wouldn't think it was time to get up and trying to not hurt myself as I could barely see, I was sitting, minding my own business, when my eye caught some movement.

No way.

There is no way there is going to be ANOTHER giant spider in the EXACT SAME SPOT as the previous two.

There's just no way.

I leaned closer and it moved.

There is a way.  

I have never been scared to enter my bathroom before, but I am now.  It has turned into a freaking spider habitat.

After I killed it, and went back to bed, I was wide awake, thinking of where they might be coming from and wondering if under the house is just a giant spider nest, similar to the movie Arachnophobia.  I wondered if I should call an exterminator.  If I called an exterminator, would the spiders living under the house move up to escape the poison and claim the rest of the house as their own?

Needless to say, I was awake for a long time.

Still Not Spider Free

My son had a theory that pulling down the ceiling would disturb a ton of giant spiders.  But after all was said and done, he only saw one.  Turns out, the others were just hiding and now that the dust has settled, they are trying to figure out what the heck has happened to their home.

Often, I catch and release.  I don't like killing anything, and that includes spiders.  They are just living their spider life, not hurting me, so I try to let them keep on living, albeit, not in my house.  But the last THREE giant spiders that have come around me have been too big, too huge, too freaking awful, too scary for me to catch.

The one in the living room, I could have caught it.  But it was super late at night, and I was half asleep when I saw it scurry across the floor and I panicked.  The one in the bathroom yesterday, well, it appeared that it and I had been standing on the same shower mat.  And that really got my adrenaline going and it was in a weird place where catching it was impossible and I was just out of the shower and kind of not interested in catching it and keeping it caught while I got dressed.  The one in the bathroom THIS MORNING was trying to hide under the scale (maybe it thought it wasn't being used too often?) but it's terribly long legs were sticking out!

At first I thought it was leftover debris from yesterday's killing, because it was exactly hiding where the other one had been, but then I moved the scale.

Nope.  Just another giant spider.

In terms of spiders, I think my son was right.

Living A Spider Free Life

So far this summer of me on my own has not been too bad; I've gotten projects crossed off my list and I've set my own schedule.  No one tells me they don't like dinner.  There are no sighs heaved when I decide to dust at 9:00 at night.

But that means there is no one here to tell me that a spider is not on me.

We all have had that unfortunate experience of walking into a spider web.  We do a frantic arm sweeping dance as we try to get the sticky stands off of ourselves.  If we are lucky enough to be with someone, we quickly ask them to look us over, check us for a spider lurking on our clothes, or worse, our hair....

But living alone means I'm doing the frantic dance with no audience except for the dogs, who just danced around too.  Apparently it's an inspiring dance move.  I double check myself, brushing off my arms and shoulders and hair....and for the next hour....or to be honest the next few days.....every breeze that tickles past makes me think I have a spider on me.

I know, I know!  I don't. I have showered and changed clothes many times.  Four days after a web encounter, that did not even have a confirmed spider inhabiting it, I think I can safely declare myself spider free.

I know all that.....but when a stray wisp of hair brushes my neck.....Spider!!  I have cut back on frantic dancing, and barely even whimper.....Maybe tomorrow will be the day I feel completely spider free.

One can only hope!