Where There Is Hope

One of the first things my daughter said to me this morning is, "It is 9/11 today."

And I replied, "I was just going to say the same thing to you."

While many of the kids at her school will go through today like it is just any other day, there are the children like my daughter who will not forget what happened, who will remember details of the day that changed their lives.

I am not alone in thinking of this day thirteen years ago; I know so many other people are recounting where they were when they heard the news; they will recall with vivid clarity the sorrow and horror that the day brought; it might be 13 years but there are some things that never really go away.  We all move forward, we can't help it.  Life keeps going and one day we realize that we are rising from our pit of grief and taking a few steps towards a hopeful sun rise.

My thoughts today are sad, but I am grateful that I still find hope.  For where there is hope, there is strength to go on.  That sun rise is beckoning a new day.

For The Love Of All That's Holy

As I bleary eyed stumbled into the bathroom at 4 this morning, trying to be quiet so the dogs wouldn't think it was time to get up and trying to not hurt myself as I could barely see, I was sitting, minding my own business, when my eye caught some movement.

No way.

There is no way there is going to be ANOTHER giant spider in the EXACT SAME SPOT as the previous two.

There's just no way.

I leaned closer and it moved.

There is a way.  

I have never been scared to enter my bathroom before, but I am now.  It has turned into a freaking spider habitat.

After I killed it, and went back to bed, I was wide awake, thinking of where they might be coming from and wondering if under the house is just a giant spider nest, similar to the movie Arachnophobia.  I wondered if I should call an exterminator.  If I called an exterminator, would the spiders living under the house move up to escape the poison and claim the rest of the house as their own?

Needless to say, I was awake for a long time.

Still Not Spider Free

My son had a theory that pulling down the ceiling would disturb a ton of giant spiders.  But after all was said and done, he only saw one.  Turns out, the others were just hiding and now that the dust has settled, they are trying to figure out what the heck has happened to their home.

Often, I catch and release.  I don't like killing anything, and that includes spiders.  They are just living their spider life, not hurting me, so I try to let them keep on living, albeit, not in my house.  But the last THREE giant spiders that have come around me have been too big, too huge, too freaking awful, too scary for me to catch.

The one in the living room, I could have caught it.  But it was super late at night, and I was half asleep when I saw it scurry across the floor and I panicked.  The one in the bathroom yesterday, well, it appeared that it and I had been standing on the same shower mat.  And that really got my adrenaline going and it was in a weird place where catching it was impossible and I was just out of the shower and kind of not interested in catching it and keeping it caught while I got dressed.  The one in the bathroom THIS MORNING was trying to hide under the scale (maybe it thought it wasn't being used too often?) but it's terribly long legs were sticking out!

At first I thought it was leftover debris from yesterday's killing, because it was exactly hiding where the other one had been, but then I moved the scale.

Nope.  Just another giant spider.

In terms of spiders, I think my son was right.

Living A Spider Free Life

So far this summer of me on my own has not been too bad; I've gotten projects crossed off my list and I've set my own schedule.  No one tells me they don't like dinner.  There are no sighs heaved when I decide to dust at 9:00 at night.

But that means there is no one here to tell me that a spider is not on me.

We all have had that unfortunate experience of walking into a spider web.  We do a frantic arm sweeping dance as we try to get the sticky stands off of ourselves.  If we are lucky enough to be with someone, we quickly ask them to look us over, check us for a spider lurking on our clothes, or worse, our hair....

But living alone means I'm doing the frantic dance with no audience except for the dogs, who just danced around too.  Apparently it's an inspiring dance move.  I double check myself, brushing off my arms and shoulders and hair....and for the next hour....or to be honest the next few days.....every breeze that tickles past makes me think I have a spider on me.

I know, I know!  I don't. I have showered and changed clothes many times.  Four days after a web encounter, that did not even have a confirmed spider inhabiting it, I think I can safely declare myself spider free.

I know all that.....but when a stray wisp of hair brushes my neck.....Spider!!  I have cut back on frantic dancing, and barely even whimper.....Maybe tomorrow will be the day I feel completely spider free.

One can only hope!

S'mores For Breakfast

In the rare sugar cereal glory days of my childhood, there was the classic Fruit Loops, Fruity Pebbles, Corn Pops, Honeycomb, but the one I desperately wish I could still eat (because I will be very honest here, I still eat those sugar cereals whenever the coupons tell me too) is S'mores.

I'm not sure how long this was available, but I remember it clearly in the hot sunshine of our Arizona years, so I was 10 or 11....mid 80's.  And thanks to Wiki, I've learned that my memory is spot on!  This was an 80's only cereal.  Similar to squares of  Golden Grahams only chocolaty, with Lucky Charm marshmallows thrown in, it holds a super fondness in my heart.

I don't actually know if it was really that good or if it is tied up in my memories of sleepovers with my aunt and uncle: my sister and I sacked out on the fold out couch, eating bowls of S'mores and dreaming about the horses we'd see at the race track, because other than the cereal, the race horses were a very exciting event in our lives.

We sat in the stands and poured over the papers, randomly picking our "winners" based on names and colors and never actually picking a winner.  And since our aunt and uncle owned some of those beautiful horses, we also got to go back into the inner workings of the track and visit horses in their stalls and lean against white slat fences and pretend we actually knew a thing or two about racing.

It was a grand time!

I often wonder if I could taste S'mores cereal now, if I'd like it as much as I remember.  I do like Golden Grahams.  But I hate Lucky Charms.  And I like my chocolate to be real chocolate (I don't even want to talk about the part of my childhood where my Mom gave us carob and told us it was chocolate....BTW carob is never going to be mistaken for chocolate!)

All I know for sure is if I ever saw a box of S'mores (not to be mistaken for the more recent version "Smorz") I'd buy a box.  Just for old times sake!

Home Improvement

I tend to start all my major do it by myself while my husband isn't here home improvement projects the same way every time:  I pick at it.  I start to peel up already peeling flooring and it just pulls right up.  Or I start to test the plaster ceiling that is separating from the lathe and it pulls down nicely.

So I go for it.  I do a big project.  I can do it.  It's easy!  Until it's not so easy.

Until the glue that holds the linoleum to the hard wood floor turns out to be stuck fast in about the middle of the floor.  Or the ceiling pulls down until the outer edges and it is still securely connected to the ceiling.

It's time to break out the scrappers, the crowbars, the tiny little picks to get every piece of the project out of the house.

All that to say, this is what my dining room looks like.

It's taking a lot longer than I thought it would!  Add the rickety ladder and my vertigo kicking in, this might replace the worst project I've ever done (previously held by my ripping up the linoleum from this same room).  This room might be cursed.

Someone's Worse Day

A while back, my sister and I happened to drive past my house as we went from one epic garage sale to another and she asked me what the giant pile of household items in front of my house was all about.  A free pile?

I did a u-turn and went back to see what she was talking about.

There on the grass by the road was a giant pile of stuff.  Not our stuff, and after a quick chat with the hubster, not stuff we knew how had come to rest on our property.  My sister and I waved goodbye and circled around the block to start shopping again, and as we rounded back, my sister said it looked like I wouldn't have to worry about dump fees or how to get rid of the junk, because someone was taking from it.  As we drove by, though, it became apparent he was not taking, but adding to it.

"Um, excuse me," I politely called to the guy.  "What are you doing?"  He preceded to tell me that he was putting his stuff there and when I pointed out that it was my house, he asked where I thought he should put his belongings and I got my husband.

Because what good are husbands if not to handle situations like an angry guy dumping all his things in our yard?

After some yelling and some more yelling, and all the neighbors pouring out of their houses to watch the goings on, the guy sat on the back of his car and cried. He'd been kicked out of his house, he had no were to go, no where to put his things, no hope.  And all the 'what the heck are you doing' questions stopped and a neighbor offered to let him store his belongings in his shed and my husband brought his truck around and they loaded it all up for him and helped him move.

It struck me again that we just never know what is going on in a persons life, and a day that seems regular to me might be someones worse day.....