Tell The Other Flies What You Saw Here Today

In spite of my request to keep the bat gate closed, the screen door to the back yard is always open. Always. We haven't had any more uninvited bats come in, but we have a ton of flies.

Flies are the annoying red headed step child of the insect world. They buzz around you, land on you, for no purpose I can tell except to skeeve you out. Those things are dirty and gross. When you try to swat them, they disappear! I assume they have some sort of magician school they all attend.

I almost offered the kids a quarter for every fly they killed, but decided I would just do it myself. I rolled up a newspaper and killed four. But as I was leaving that room, three more magically started buzzing around. Dang it!

My daughter told me that fly swatters are designed to kill flies, something about the holes letting air through and the fly is not aware that something is about to smack it. Okay, time to buy a fly swatter. My first fly swatter of my life. Of course, it wasn't as easy as it sounds. Took two stores before I could get one. But I have one now and it's going to see some action.

I hunt those suckers down. They love the bathroom, which has caused me to apologize to the guests for the outhouse type feel in there. As soon as you sit down on the toilet, flies start in on you. It's so disgusting, but it's also a good place to start my killing spree. I went in, closed the door and killed five. Next up, the kitchen. Their second favorite place is the kitchen. Stood silently in there for a minute and killed a couple more.

That's right flies. Fly away! Tell all your brothers this house is just a death trap for you.

If I was an Indian, my name would be Swift Fly Killer. Or Scared of Moths Girl. But that's another blog!