So I moved on. I have two awesomely awesome kids and if I'd had four or six, I don't know that I would be the good Mom that I am. But that part of me that longs for baby to hold and cuddle and love and snuggle, well, that has never stopped longing!
The answer to that was a puppy. I know, it's not for everyone, but frankly, I am a huge fan of dogs and getting our Beagle puppy was just right. Then we got another puppy. Then to make things that much more crazy, we let our daughter have one too.
I am the proud Mom to a 15 year old son, learning to drive, a 13 year old daughter, in love with piano, and three very lovely dogs.
I have less sticky finger print marks on our TV (only an occasional 'hi' written in the dust on the screen) but I traded those in for muddy paws leaving perfect prints on my fresh mopped floors.
I do miss those sticky finger days, especially when I watch my son's hands turning the wheel of the car, or my daughters fingers dance up and down the piano keys, and in my minds eye I can see their baby dimpled fingers reaching for me....
But then one of my crazy lovely dogs will come over and put her muddy paws on my leg, look at me with her big brown eyes, and I'm back in reality, firmly cemented in the present, with a mop in one hand and Mr Clean in the other.
I love all my kids, from the tops of their heads to the tips of their toes....or tails.