Tuesday, January 14, 2014

What's Under The Porch?

What's under the porch?  I have no idea.  But based on the dogs behavior, it is something monstrous.  Positively horrendous.  Absolutely soul sucking scary. 

Their beagle baying and regular dog snarling, with several hurt dog yips thrown in was enough to have me set down my cold pizza lunch and run outside to see what was going on, ready to take on rude kids throwing rocks or big guys threatening to kill them (both things that have happened) but when I saw them digging a hole to get under the porch, I lost my nerve.

In my experience with things that live under the house, they are usually four legged and have beady eyes and prehensile tails and like to crawl out from underneath, push open cupboard doors and wander around kitchens in the middle of the night.  True story and one my kids used to beg my Mom to tell over and over again.  It never failed to give them shivers when she described hearing something scratching away through the wall.

So when I saw the girls doing this, I got nervous.

Nothing good is going to come of this.  Either they are going to dig a hole and get under the porch and 1) find the scary beast that is nesting under or 2) get stuck and need me to open the crawl space cover and pray that they will follow the sound of my voice to freedom.

Neither option sounded good.  So I did the next best thing, dressed in work clothes and heels, to block that hole.  But with something not too dirty and gross.  I had to get back to work in a few minutes.  This is when my innate laziness comes in handy, and the Christmas tree I had barely managed to drag out of the house and off the porch was ready to be used in anti hole digging duty.

It too the girls about a minute to figure out they could 1) crawl under the top because it wasn't bushy and actually didn't block anything and 2) squeeze under the porch rail and drop down beside the tree and continue digging.

I'm going to call it good enough for now.  It's dark when I get home after work, and dark before I leave each morning, and darkness does not lend itself to convenient monster routing!

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