I never really complained when you came into the house and hung on walls or swooped around ceiling fans. I may have been freaked out of my mind, but I wasn't mad. I swear!
I never killed you or asked anyone to kill you. I tried to get you out of the house as safe and unharmed as possible. Even set you down outside away from where the dogs could get you.
In return for all that niceness, I have certain expectations of you. I except to be able to sit outside at night and not get eaten alive by mosquitoes.
And let me tell you bats, you are missing out on some good bugs. The mosquitoes this year are the size of baby elephants and could feed your family and all your in-laws too.
So, please, Bats, wherever you went, please come back. I truly miss you.
Or, I truly miss being bug bite free. Pass the calamine lotion please.