Thursday, April 9, 2009

To The Deer Giving Me The Stink Eye

Yes, you. Don't pretend you don't remember me. I was the lady being walked by two adorable, yet completely oblivious, beagles.

It was early morning, before 7, the sun was starting to shine, the air was crisp and wonderful, and I was digging my walk. I saw your partner deer dash across the road half a block ahead of me, a car slowed down and I thought, hmm, the deer must still be standing in that yard.

As I approached, my eyes were completely focused on the yard across the street. Just a little further, and yep, a small deer was timidly standing there. Both beagles were on the scent of something, but it quickly became obvious that they were not tracking deer.

Because about 20 feet from us, on our side of the street, there you stood. Bigger than your friend, you stood there, your legs stiff with aggression, and you stared hard at me. At first I thought, whoa, weird. That deer is giving me a look.

I cautiously moved past, moving quickly, holding the dogs in check in case they saw you. They did not. I turned to watch you over my shoulder, and you followed me with your eyes, turning your head to watch me walk away.

Hmm. Not just giving me a look, but you were giving me the stink eye.

Was it the dogs? Because as you could tell, they may be hound dogs, but they are usually tracking food, not deer. Or was it the Mickey Mouse on my baseball cap? I imagine you aren't a fan of the movie Bambie.....and frankly, neither am I. That movie blows and it's not just because Bambie's mom bites the big one.

Regardless of why I got the stink eye from you, I wanted to let you know, it doesn't matter. That's been my walking route for years, and I'm not going to let some beady eyed, sharp hoofed bully chase me away.

And to all those people who are gushing over how sweet nature is, I want to say, it's not that sweet when you are 20 feet from it. It's a little disturbing.

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