Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Terrorized In My Own Home

I am being terrorized by a crane fly. For reals, yo.

I was sitting here minding my own business when I felt some tickling on my neck and chest. I thought to myself, self, don't freak out. It's just wisps of your long hair wisping around in the breeze.

So I brushed at it, and realized instantly my hair does not have a solid body and legs and wings. I batted it away in the time honored tradition of crazy slapping hands and panicked body contortions, to discover as it bopped away it was a Crane Fly.

Imagine screams here.

In my rush to get it off me, I knocked one of those legs off and it was stuck on my shirt. Imagine more screams now.

I sat here with my heart pounding, feeling like I've been contaminated when I heard it buzzing around on the table. Literally on the freaking table.

The only things close to me to use to kill it were my book, my daughters wallet, the phone and my coffee cup. I didn't want to have bug guts on any of that, so I didn't kill it.

But that means it's loose somewhere. Flopping around, at least one leg lost, and I feel that where it had touched my bare skin is on fire. Like it's got an infectious disease that it has passed on to me.

Or it could be from the insane amount of scratching I just did.

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