All reasons why I can throw on a jacket, grab the keys, and do some Christmas shopping at 8:30 PM on a Saturday night.
It was all going so well, too. I found everything on my list, there were no lines to wait for anything, I was on a roll.
Until I got out to the parking lot, the dark, wet, rainy parking lot, and my hands were full of bags because I didn't want to hassle with pushing a cart back inside, and I walked to my white Chevy Tahoe, pushed the unlock button on the key fob in my hand, opened the back door and put my stuff down on an empty seat, that before I'd gone into this last store had been full of shopping bags.
I've been robbed, I thought, with a sick sinking feeling. And whoever did it was super stinky, because my car still smells like them. I looked to the steering wheel and saw two car fresheners hanging there. And they were thoughtful thieves too, trying to mask their bad odor!
Or, this is not my car.
No, this is a white Chevy Tahoe, parked exactly the same direction as mine, in the exact same spot as mine, only one row over.
I quickly pulled my bags out, shut their car door, and walked over to my white Chevy Tahoe, with all of it's bags of gifts still inside, and no horrible stench, and got in, locked my doors and got the heck out of there.
The reasons I can are clear; the reason I won't go shopping that late again is because in the dark, all white Chevy Tahoes look alike.
It's a pretty common car in these parts!