If I Was A Man....

I'd stop carrying a purse. I know, dudes always complain about wallets getting too fat, and sitting on them gives them back aches.....as I write this I can see in my mind's eye, Jerry Seinfeld running down the street in his fur coat trying to catch his purse thief.

If I was a man I wouldn't have to worry about having an umbrella or tissue or pens or paper or packs of chewing gum or various girlish things.

I'd put my wallet in one pocket, my cell in another and add a tube of chapstick because I may not be into manscaping, but I do have excessively dry lips!

My purse is perfect for carrying my dress shoes and packed lunch, along with everything else I might need. Even my water bottle, with lid screwed on extremely tight, gets tossed in every once in a while.

But in it's perfection, it turns into a nightmare. It is a black hole! Things go in and can't be found. I can not find a single thing I'm looking for. I recently sat at a gas station dumping my purse out to find my wallet. Sad and crazy.

It does hold good surprises though. Yesterday I stuck my hand in to fish around for a scrap of paper to write a note to myself and I came out with a folded piece of paper. I don't remember putting this in my purse....and I wouldn't have because I didn't! My husband slipped a love note in my purse that morning.

I'm just surprised I found it the same day!

But if I was a man without a purse, I wouldn't have any way to be surprised by love notes in said purse.

I think I'll stick with what I've got, black hole of a purse and all.