I think that I would rather go through childbirth again instead of watching my child's heart break. Childbirth was easy! There's an end in sight, I've just got to push this baby out.
Heartache, on the other hand, is something only time will ease. And all my love and care and fierce devotion can not fix those hurts.
It was easier when they were babies. They cried, I held them or fed them or changed them or sang them a favorite song and all was better just because I, Mommy, was there. Every mother since the dawn of time has experienced this, it is nothing new. We take our hearts and have them live outside of us and it hurts to the quick when they are hurt.
It's not just growing up, it's life. Sometimes life kicks and even as a grown up, it stings, and I'm sure my Mom feels the same way about me. Your child's actual age does not matter when it comes to how you feel when you look at them.
These are my children, my babies, my hearts, and they will be even when I'm 101 and they are 80 and 78.
Oh no. I can see how you're right, and now I'm panicking. I thought childbirth was the hardest thing I've ever experienced.
ReplyDeleteSuddenly I understand the hiding your child in a tower thing.
I really wonder if every stage of life, you look at your child and think this is the hardest stage. When my Mom turned 60, did my Grandma look at her baby and think, "This is the hardest thing I've ever done."??
DeleteOh, I know what you mean. I hate to see my kids hurting. Right now they're young, but they still experience things that make them sad--like when other kids won't play with them or push them, etc. These things make me protective and sad all at once. It's hard to watch them happen.
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard to watch! And yet, I've learned to restrain my Mother Bear and let my children experience life....sometimes life has needed a little Mother Bear mauling, and I've obliged.
DeleteWhen we started planning our family I thought the hardest thing would be child birth and the sleepless nights......How wrong was I??
ReplyDeleteMy heart already aches every time I pack them off to nursery and school and I am dreading the boyfirend phase. Your imagery of taking your heart and allowing it to live outside your body seems so fitting because that is exactly how it feels.
From you touching account here I have no doubt that it only gets worse the more adult the problems become!! I just hope my heart is tough enough!
It's a quote I once read and have carried around in my soul for years (but it took forever for me to remember it exactly and know who said it!)...."It is to decide forever to have our heart go walking outside your body." Elizabeth Stone....sums up exactly how I feel!
DeleteA beautiful post. No more than ten minutes ago, I was watching my baby boy, 16 wks today, while he slept, and I whispered to him, "I love you fiercely, little one. No matter where you are, Momma will always come for you. I'll always be there. Nothing will ever keep us apart." Amazing that love can be so strong, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteI heard a rumor about something sad happening. Been thinking of you guys all day. Hope he is doing ok.
ReplyDeleteOh that was wonderful. My babies are 32 and 27 and I just can't stand their hearts to break. I know my Daddy used to listen to me cry about a boy here and there and comforted me. I know it was hard.
ReplyDeleteOh, this is all too true...
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