Sunday, November 6, 2011

If You Love Me, Mom, Please Don't.....

If you love me, Mom, please don't are words that could be followed by things like: please don't embarrass me, or please don't make me, or please don't spit bathe me. But when my daughter uses those words, we are usual standing in a thrift shop and I am looking at bowls or glasses or even, gasp, serving spoons.

If you love me, Mom, please don't buy used anything that will touch my food and then my food will touch my mouth.

Of all the quirks for a kid to have, my daughter has a thing about silverware that is not hers. It's not just used silverware, it is the silverware belonging to friends and family. If she thinks too much about it, it is silverware at restaurants, but to counter that I have told her stories about the industrial dishwasher I used when I worked at camp, to let her know that it might not be some guy in the back with a dirty rag haphazardly wiping off forks. I never told her about the kernels of corn that got baked on silverware sometimes when the loader person didn't rinse things well. That is her idea of the worst thing ever.

It got so bad at one point, I was seriously considering sending her with a set of plastic silverware just so I knew she would be eating while she was away. But she said that would make her look crazy. Instead, I told all friends parents not to worry if she picked at her food and didn't really eat. She wasn't going to starve in 24 hours and she didn't.

And it's worked. She's learned how to navigate the horrors that is silverware she hasn't washed herself, but she draws the line at me purposely buying used silverware to use in the our home.

Okay, but what about bowls? Or glasses? I'd love to buy some cheap drinking glasses, matching not a worry, just because we are going through a glass shortage at our house, and I don't want to buy NEW ones and then suffer the heartbreak that is a brand new glass breaking.

But it's a no go. Please Mom, if you love me, please don't buy used glasses.

Okay, darling daughter. I won't. Unless they are super cute and retro looking. With a vintage star-burst pattern. I'll buy that and you don't have to use it. Deal?

1 comment:

  1. That is hilarious! Although a part of me totally feels for your daughter! I hate finding crud on my silverware (or in my glasses) at restaurants. It's totally gross! Although not a bad dieting tool ;)